09/09/09 @ 9pm

2009 hearing from Faith 28th entry

In 4 1/2hours time, i will be celebrating my 21st b'dae @ Millions.. I shd b hapi & excited but i dun feel any.. I'm f***ing tired.. Been drinking, nvr have enough slp and working.. shag.. But still i looking for later on.. Shd b able to make me bz, occupied and go crazy.. Juz hope things dun go worst later.. anyway...

Hapi 21st B'dae to myself!!

hope will be a happy one..

L.O.V.E.

2009 hearing from Faith 27th entry

'L' is for the way you looked at me

'O' is for the only one I see

'V' is very very extraordinary

'E' is even more than anyone that you adore and

Love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two

Two in love can make it

Take my heart and please don't break it

Love was make for me and you

A nice movie dats make me think even more..

2009 hearing from Faith 26th entry

It's 0249hr, i'm so shag but i juz want to blog.. And i having to wake up slightly after 6 for sch at 8am.. haiz..

Juz came back awhile after a movie, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.. To me, it's a pretty nice show.. It talks about a guy dat indeed like this girl, but chose to fool and play around juz not to get hurt.. But in the end still realise dat the feeling of love and being in love is great..

And in the movie i heard the song L.O.V.E. dat i din hear it for a long time, and it use to be and is still an very meaningful song to me..

And i'm still thinking, thinking & thinking.. hmmm...

And i feel kind of hard to communicate..

Or am i juz scared and afraid??

THINKING HARD!!

2009 hearing from Faith 25th entry

I'm kinda lost now.. I duno wat is the right or wrong thing to do le.. It's juz have to come wen i juz start to realise dat i dun even know how to stop it anymore.. hmm.. But overall it's still a happy thing, i guess.. Or atlease for now it is.. YEAH..

I need to take some time to really think about everything..

Back to work..

2009 hearing from Faith 24th entry

Yesterday, i woke up at 11+pm... Only slept for 5 hours lor.. Still very tired, but cant sleep le... Den in the end ended up Sky came to pick me up at 3+ and we went to Lot1, he cut & dye half of his hair, at the main time i go meet Silver and no.3 first.. Atfer he was done, we went to pick up her aunt and follow by 2 cousin and went over to his place.. Den Sky send me to work while he went to pick up Neo oso and they goin for movie.. From 9pm, i work till 5.30am almost 6am.. Was abit high lar.. Drank alot of beer the whole nite.. Joanna jie jie came to drink, nvr seen her for afew month le.. Exo oso came, thinking to find Bebe tinking dat she is working at Next Stop, but she still working at Blue Blazze, talk to him for quite awhile, he told me dat it's the fifth time he wants to brake up with her and it's suppose to be their one month anniversary but she over slept.. haix... Law and Richie they all where at Next Stop too... And at 3+am, Bebe came to look for me.. Was kind of sweet lar... She kiss me, she told me dat she broke up with Exo and ask me to wait for her, dat she will come to Next Stop to work and kiss me again b4 she left.. Haiya, i oso duno wat to say about her le... Wateva she wans lar.. I shd juz listen and forget about it, dun expect anything.. And den drink abit more and finally left Next Stop about 5.45am.. So tired now, goin to sleep.. Have to wake up at 11+ and it will be a damn long day... Really long long day... Nite!!

Movie Marathon

2009 hearing from Faith 23rd entry

Was at home the whole of Sat until just now afternoon den i went to my nanny's house to eat.. For the past 3-4 days, i simply am infront of my computer... MSN, fb, blog, watching my usual daily HK show and tons of movie..
I've watch Twilight
Marley and Me
Bride Wars
The Chronicles of Narnia 1 & 2: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe & Prince Caspian
Inkheart
Bedtime Stories
The House Bunny
IP Man
Dead Like Me: Life After Death
Mamma Mia!....

I guess dat's more or less about it.. I'm so so tired... Never really sleep.. haha....

康康 -《你不愛我》

2009 hearing from Faith 22nd entry

康康(康晋荣) -《你不愛我》

作詞：李焯雄　作曲：薛忠銘　編曲：洪敬堯

习惯被拒绝的人会先拒绝
这一次至少是我先说离别
有一些痛楚看不见泪水
有一种防卫叫做我无所谓

要让你快乐原是我的心愿
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
丢给我一些喜悦的碎屑
却带走我一切

你不爱我 是我舍不得
是我不配 为你在狼狈
你不爱我 你真的不爱我
尽力而为我拼命给也是浪费
你不爱我 是我舍不得
是我不配 和命运作对
你不爱我 你真的不爱我
一直以为我是后卫 原来只是那后备

要让你快乐原是我的心愿
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
丢给我一些喜悦的碎屑
却带走我一切

你不爱我 是我舍不得
是我不配 为你在狼狈
你不爱我 你真的不爱我
尽力而为我拼命给也是浪费
你不爱我 是我舍不得
是我不配 和命运作对
你不爱我 你真的不爱我
一直以为我是后卫 原来只是那后备

你不爱我 是我舍不得
是我不配 为你在狼狈
你不爱我 你真的不爱我
尽力而为我拼命给也是浪费
你不爱我 是我舍不得
是我不配 和命运作对
你不爱我 你真的不爱我
一直以为我是后卫 原来只是那后备

一直以为我是后卫 原来只是那后备

2009 hearing from Faith 21st entry

我才刚刚睡醒不久。我整个人都很不舒服。

昨晚，Bebe打电话给我，叫我陪她去Cine做指甲。她做到七七八八的时候Jannet就来了。然后，我们就去Pastamania吃。吃完以后我们就去了Boat Quay。她们要去Blue Blazze为了另一个姐妹在那里做工。之后还把我一个人留在那里。我喝了两三杯后就也不管了，去了一百万找勇明。去到那里我看见了勇明，国擎，慧彬，no.3，If和伟杰。不知为什么，我突然很没有心情。过了一下子，慧彬，If和伟杰就先走了，他们还要做工，要早起吧。我们就玩牌，也玩其他的游戏。我一直输，一直喝，一直喝，就喝了好几次杯的啤酒。之后勇明和国擎唱歌。我就和no.3在那里聊天。聊啊聊，说了很多东西，我情不自禁的流起眼泪来。咳！！

过后，Bebe来一百万找我。我和她们两姐妹和她们的两个朋友就去了X Bar，开Martell再喝。那时候，我有一点high，我竟然把我要发给no.3的短讯发了给Bebe。天啊！！我们喝到五点，还看到一班人在Rav打起架来。她们两个都人送她们回家。那我就自己去搭巴士。但是我越走我的肚子就越痛。那种痛真的痛到我无法形容。我才走过Bar Dot不远，都还没有到Jab1，我已经不行了，我就坐在附近的椅子。我还冒冷汗，也吐了。然后就走到巴士站，在等巴士当儿，我又吐了，幸好至少我的肚子已经不痛了。上了巴士后，我就休息。半小时之后我终于到家了，我进厕所又吐。大概七点多我就去睡了。但是十点，十一点多和十二点多的时候我都起来吐。真的是吐到没有东西了但还在吐。之后就睡到现在。我整身无力。肚子也觉得空空的，但又不想吃。真不知发生了什么事。咳！！

她!!

2009 hearing from Faith 20th entry

很多时候我还真的不明白。我不明白她，更加不明白自己。为什么我种是到了最后都和我喜欢的人做好朋友。难道我真的那么不讨人喜欢吗？

已经过了好几个月了，我们之间也发生了很多事。重刚刚认识她到现在，我们成为了好朋友，一切都得来不易，我为了她真的付出了很多很多。那当然，我重来也没有要求过或可望她会为我做任何的事。

其实我真的很开心她有事的时候，不管是好是坏，都会来告诉我或找我。我真的很想每时每刻都能够在她身边，陪着她，关心她，照顾她，让她开心。我看见她开心我就很满足了。

她的身边每次都有好多位男士。但我又能怎样呢？我又不是她的谁。。。有好多时候我还真的非常难过，好想离开，不想在看下去。但是我又舍不得她。做人真矛盾。咳！！

有些时候，她对我说了些我听了是会很开心的话。当然，我知道她都是在开玩笑，但我还是很开心。有时候，虽然她只是说会和我去这里去那里，做这个做那个，我听了还真的是开心的很。那种开心有时侯真的是无话可形容。但是最后，我只有一次又一次的失望。每一次我都会很气，但她知道吗？还有每次她在打电话给我的时候，我就气不下去了。我已经不应该有任何的期待。听到的话，开心过就好了。是不是真的有做到，我也不想再想了。

她总是让我担心。如果我在，就还能看着她。但我不在她身边的时候呢？有时候我一整晚都睡不着，就为了等她的一通电话，要知道她安全到家了，我才放心。如果真的等到了她的电话，有时都不知道要生气还是要开心。

好了。我真的好累了。我还能够坚持下去多久呢？

但是放不下就是放不下啊！！！ 我还能爱谁？？？

2009 hearing from Faith 19th entry

Yesterday 12+ i went down to Boat Quay.. I first went to Blue Blazze to talk to Bebe & Jannet.. At there, i was Law & Richie oso.. They were kind of shock to see Bebe so happy seeing me and came to sit on my lap.. After dat i walk over to Millions den to Chillz.. Today Chillz reopen after renovation.. Den i was chatting with Celestine & Emily..

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After that i went up to NOS to meet X they all... X goin back to work again, will oni get to see her 6months later.. In between, we went down to Millions to smoke and find Rain.. And i saw Sebestian.. And also HuiBin.. She called me earlier telling me dat she is drinking and will come find me later.. Then i was talking to Sebas while I saw someone drunk.. Was kind of shock, never expect to be so drunk.. So went to send the person home..hb was sitting down smoking so i was talking to Sebas, but wen i saw hb stand up and was unstable, i literally juz wen over to hb & left Sebas there.. She then hug on me, tell me somethings and say dat she wans to go home.. No matter wat i ask her, she oni ans dat she wans to go home.. Den some1 drove her back, of cuz i wen wit her.. Den reach her place, we took quite awhile to settle her and finally get her down the car.. Den i was on her left while the other fren on her right.. Den she let go of her fren and hold on to me.. The most best part was wen we got into the lift, she push the fren out and close the door.. lolx.. Even i was shock, dun talk abt the fren.. Den i send her home, she lock the door and i left.. I'm still so worried.. Although she is home, but i din see her get into bed.. Hmmm...
After dat i came back to Boat Quay and found Sky & Neo @ Millions.. Bernice oso there with her bf and frens... Den i oso went back to NOS to drink with X.. At 4+, X they all left, den Sky oso send Neo, Pam & me home.. Pam oso very high le.. Haiya.. Wat a day, everyone drinking so much.. Sigh..Juz now starting from 7am, i started giving her morning call.. All the way until 7.47am, every min, i give her a call.. Total 48miss call but she still haven't din pick.. In the begining wen i start calling, i juz wan to wake her up.. Usually she will wake up within 5 call.. After dat i rmb dat ytd wen i send her home, i saw her phone already left with no much batt.. I oso tinking if she has her phone near her.. Haiz..
And now I can't sleep.. WOW!! After dat i even feel like scolding her if she picks up the phone.. How can she drink until so drunk.. Somemore goin to work today.. And she go drinking, get drunk with i dun even know who, not THE GANG.. If not i came down to smoke, i dun even know dat she is drunk until like dat le.. F*** sia.. She herself know how to ask me not to drink so much with others, unless is with The Gang.. But now wat i see.. Haiz.. I'm kind of waiting for her to call me.. Still worried.. And i dun wan to miss her call.. Will she call??????